Insurance - part 23

[miriam_e]

(2294 words)

total so far:

50,355 / 50,000
(101%)

The end!!
At last.
Gosh this was hard to write.
I'm still not sure I got it quite right. Doubtless I'll be making some small tweaks in the rewrite. But the final scene is the original one from when I first came up with the story. I doubt I'll ever change that.

Let me know what you think.

(Ergh! Now I have to do all the things that have banked up during the month!)

Note that what follows contains adult concepts.
The love of two females for each other is central to this story so if you are offended by that stop reading now.

23 - dream on

"I want to know who's to blame for this." Sally felt cold. She looked at Zoe, who shook her head.

"I don't know if anybody is to blame. It may have simply been one of those random accidents that just happens."

Sally gave a ferocious look. "Yeah, as in 'make it look like an accident'. Zoe I know you have suspicions. Rachel told me you thought some group was working to stop veeps gaining human rights, and before we left Rachel sent out a whole lot of stuff to the insurance, travel, and funeral industries to try and force the veep issue."

Zoe sighed. "Look, Sally I know you want to make sense of this, but many things in real life just don't have meaning. They can just be accidents." Zoe held up her hand as Sally was about to protest. "Even when people are killed by others -- and murders have been declining for as long as people have kept records -- they can just simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time. There may well be no meaning."

Sally looked like she had tasted something bad. "Save the bullshit Zoe. Didn't you hear what I said?"

"Sally, it isn't bullshit. It's just good sense. Think about it. Just suppose two people have a fight and then one dies in an accident. Naturally suspicion falls on the other, but it doesn't mean they did it. It could have been an accident. It's the same with Rachel. Naturally I have my suspicions and I'm working with the police, and on my own, but I honestly don't know if this was an accident or intentional."

Sally shook her head. She looked angry and about to say something.

Zoe said, "As soon as I find out something I'll let you know."

Sally sat. She nodded. Then it was as if she crumpled a bit. It looked like the anger had been propping her up. Without the anger her mind lost its direction. Her shoulders sagged as she realised all over again that there was no Rachel anymore. She would never ever see her again. The understanding weighed her down and bled her of purpose. She sat there staring at the wall.

Her voice was hoarse, dry, almost a whisper, completely devoid of expression, "She's gone." Tears were running down her face, which was strange because she didn't feel sad. She felt empty. All that remained was a shell.

She looked up at Zoe. "There must be some way to bring her back."

Sally looked lost. Zoe felt so, so sorry for her. She put a hand on the beautiful android's shoulder. "I scanned her brain in the hope that something of the brain structure could be retrieved. We got a lot of information, but not enough to reconstruct a mind. Without a proper brain scan..."

Sally's eyes closed, squeezing more tears onto her cheeks. She knew that. After just a few minutes without oxygen the brain dies. If only she'd pushed Rachel to get scanned when she had the chance. She'd be safe. But it was too late. If only! If only! If only! Sally was hitting her forehead with her hands.

Zoe didn't know what to say. She couldn't stand the pain Sally was in. "Sally, Rachel isn't completely gone. She exists still in you. Everyone who dies achieves some immortality. The people they leave behind carry them in their memories."

Sally thought, what a stupid thing to say. Empty words. The pretty lies people tell themselves to deny death, she thought bitterly. She wanted to touch her, to hear her voice, to know she was well and happy.

Suddenly a thought -- a thin sliver of hope! She looked up at Zoe. Sally said, slowly, fighting the sluggishness of depression, "...Imaginary VR... worlds in AI's imagination."

Startled, Zoe knew immediately what Sally was getting at. She put her hand over her mouth and her eyes unfocused for a moment as she thought. Then she nodded. She looked at Sally's hopeful face. "It would be Rachel as you remember her, though. It's unlikely to come up with anything new the way the real Rachel would."

---

Sally lay on the bed snuggled into Rachel's side. "I love you so much." The android whispered.

Rachel smiled, turned her head and kissed the top of Sally's head.

Sally ran a finger around Rachel's green belly and it tightened in that way she always found so cute. She drew a line up to a breast and circled it. The nipple began to firm and she felt her own doing the same in sympathy. She sat up and looked down at her beautiful Rachel. Her black, glossy hair, her exotic eyes and high cheekbones. She kissed her, and sitting up again, she sighed in pure happiness. "I missed you so much."

Rachel smiled a little puzzled. "Missed me...? Have I been somewhere?"

Sally said, "Not anymore. You're here, and that's all that matters." She stroked the straight, black hair framing Rachel's face then lay down on top of her, nestling her own head in beside Rachel's neck. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Rachel chuckled, "Oh, once or twice in the last several hours of lovemaking!"

Rachel rolled over on her side. She gave Sally a quick kiss and stood up. "Wow. I'm amazed I can still stand up." She grinned, "Remember when my legs were all wobbly at the resort."

Sally stood too. "Maybe on the inside. You looked fine on the outside."

Rachel put on her bikini and grabbed a cape. "Lets go sit in the sun."

They walked out to the front door and Rachel spread her cape on the grass. She lay down and put her arms over her eyes. She gave a big heartfelt sigh.

Sally sat down, crosslegged, next to her. Rachel peeked out from under her arm. "What no bucket of water?"

"Oh! I only did that once. You won't ever let me live it down will you?" She smiled evilly and suddenly grabbed Rachel's bikini bottom, pulled it out and let it snap back. Fwap!

"Yeow! Ooh you stinker! You'll pay for that later." But she put her arm back over her eyes and continued to sunbake.

Sally grinned, "Oh, I'm so scared."

She looked out over the valley. It was mid-afternoon. The air looked hazy and slightly bluish. Trees and shrubs rustled in the breeze making a nice background hiss. Some small birds started making a lot of noise nearby -- either annoyed with something or courting. Far down in the valley the river was mostly in shadow. She could see a couple of wallabies grazing a little way down the hill. And there was a joey bouncing gleefully, unevenly around its Mum. Sally sent the image to Rachel, who chuckled and said, "A wobbly wallaby. Just like the cute little one last year."

Sally said, "You know, we should do something."

Rachel made a muffled mock scream. "Not again!"

Sally laughed, "Just kidding. I'm perfectly happy. There's nowhere I'd rather be than here with you."

Rachel suddenly sat up. "Oh, I just realised. I should follow up on all that stuff I sent before we went to the reef."

Sally said, "Don't worry about that, sweetie. Zoe's handling that."

Rachel said, "Well I should at least contact... huh... strange. I can't find the names of who I sent the files to." Rachel was starting to look worried. "Honey, I think something is wrong with me. I can't even remember what I sent to those people."

Sally soothed, "It's alright. Nothing's wrong with you. Don't worry about it." She tried to kiss her lover, but Rachel pulled back.

"This is important Sally. I can't remember. Something's wrong. You know what a good memory I have. I don't forget things like this."

Sally sighed. "Please leave it Rachel. It's alright, really."

Rachel looked faintly annoyed, "Stop saying that Sally. It's not alright. Why would you keep saying it is?"

Sally closed her eyes and moaned. "Does it always have to go like this?"

Rachel looked at her, puzzled, "What are you talking about?"

Sally looked at her. "My own private heaven and hell both in one."

Rachel shook her head. "This is starting to make about as much sense as a dream."

Sally nodded, "Got it. That's the first time. But of course you didn't mean it. You were making a comparison."

Rachel asked, "I'm dreaming?"

Sally answered, hopeful, "If I say yes, can we leave it at that?"

Rachel wanted more information. "If this is a dream it is the most consistent one I've ever had. It feels so real." She looked at Sally who had muttered that of course she couldn't leave it at that. "I'm not dreaming am I? Sally, what do you know that you aren't telling me?"

Sally closed her eyes, tired. "At this point you worry at it till I tell you. It always happens this way." She opened her eyes and looked at Rachel who was waiting patiently. "No honey. You're not dreaming. I am."

Rachel shook her head. "You don't sleep or dream."

Sally gave up. "You died. I am dreaming. Zoe made a world where I recreate you from my memories."

Rachel had not expected this. She never did in all the times Sally had gone through it.

Rachel stood and walked around. "I'm imaginary? You're not serious."

Sally didn't do anything. She just sat there. She was so tired of it always ending up like this. Sometimes it would run for days before something would happen like this. Several times it had been the veep proposals. She would see if Zoe could remove that troublesome memory next time.

Sally said, "Try to remember anything you never told me about. What did the house of your best friend look like when you were kids. Think of the faces of your school teachers. Where did you meet your first girlfriend? What does food taste like? Any food. When the bullant stung you last week, what did the pain feel like?" She cited the most recent things that had caused the last several 'dreams' to end.

Rachel looked a little shocked. "No. There must be some other explanation." Then she shook her head and looked incredulous. "I'm a simulation? No."

Sally stood and put her arms around Rachel "No. You're real. You are my memories."

They stood there for a while as Rachel ran through it all. Finally Rachel unwrapped Sally's arms from around her, held her hands, and looked ernestly into her eyes. "Sweetheart, you know I wouldn't want you to waste your life like this."

"I'm not wasting my life, I'm with you. I love you."

Rachel shook her head. "You're not with me. You're with a shadow, a fake, what you remember me to be like."

Sally pulled her hands away and stormed around in a little circle. "Arrrgh! How infuriatingly like you to say that. Remember when you said that about veeps?"

"Well, yes. I was mistaken about that, but I'm not about this."

Sally faced her stubbornly. "I'm not going to switch you off."

Rachel paused for a while, considering. "OK, fair enough, but get out a bit. Continue your life, honey. I can't bear the idea that you would waste away like this."

"I thought you said you were a fake," Sally sulked.

"You know what I mean. The real Rachel wouldn't want you hiding away from the world. I know that you understand that because I wouldn't be able to say it otherwise."

Sally just looked at Rachel. She sighed. She would have to start the simulation all over again. Oh well. At least she would have days of bliss before it started to cave in again.

---

Rachel walked in. The first thing that hit Sally was that she didn't have the green of the algae in her skin. She'd never seen her like that. Her skin was a rich gold color.

Rachel strode over to her and put her arms around her. "Mmmm... You feel so nice." She started to hum a piece of music, then the music started to elaborate and invade Sally's mind. Rachel began to waltz, taking Sally with her.

Sally frowned, "I didn't know you could dance like this."

Rachel whispered into Sally's ear, "There's a lot of things you don't know about me. I learned ballroom dancing at school."

Sally continued to frown, thinking it through, "I can't dance the..."

"Waltz," Rachel put in. "Yes, that's pretty obvious. You're stepping all over my feet."

Sally was apologetic, "Oops sorry, I..." and then the light went on in her head. "You're real! You're real??" She screamed in delight. "You're real!"

They hugged tight, laughing.

"How?? Good grief! How??" Sally's eyes were shining hardly daring to believe. "Oh, this isn't some crazy trick I'm playing on myself? You're real?" She was running her hands up and down Rachel's arms.

Rachel nodded. "Well, I'm as real as a veep can be. Yes, I'm real. Zoe never gave up. As technology improved she tried new things. The scans were important, and the cap -- it held a lot of information. But the central thing was you. In the end it was you. You were my insurance."

They stood, arms around each other's waist for a few moments drinking in each other's face. Tears were brimming in Sally's eyes and spilling down her cheeks.

Rachel asked Sally, "You know what we get to do now?"

Sally could think of lots of things, but just shook her head.

Rachel kissed her lover and whispered into her ear, "We get to live happily ever after."


-----------
THE END

Comments

[sbarret.livejournal.com]

well congratulations! You made it all look so easy ;-)

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Heheheheh
'Desperation' probably better describes my mental state toward the end.
Thank heavens for my Mum and my niece, Lois. Without those two I would have driven myself nuts. I'm especially grateful for an online friend I made during the writing, gothxxangel who managed to buoy me up even when I felt like I was wasting my time. Without those three I would quite possibly have still finished, but it wouldn't have been a pretty sight.
Well, it still wasn't exactly pretty, as the mountains of unwashed laundry, unanswered emails, etc can prove. :)

And it isn't even a great story. It is just a vehicle for a bunch of ideas I wanted to get out there. How the hell do really good writers manage??