pedophiles
Friday, 6 June 2008 10:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
miriam_eI don't listen to the radio news or watch TV or read newspapers (other than New Scientist) so I hadn't heard about it when Margaret told me today that a big pedophilia ring had been broken, with lots of people going to jail.
Over the years it has surprised me to find out how many of my friends have had their lives damaged by being molested when they were kids. I grew up in blissful ignorance of such things. It always puzzled me that some people can be sexually attracted to children. How can that be? They don't produce any of the sexual cues that puberty brings. Margaret insists that it is about power. She was molested when young and is terrified of, and furious at pedophiles. She may be right. I can't even begin to understand what must be going on in the mind of a pedophile.
But there are a number of things about the current approach to pedophilia that ring very loud alarm bells. It has become a witchhunt. All that is needed to destroy someone's life is to name them as a pedophile -- evidence is not really required. This is a very dangerous situation.
Margaret said the people were obviously guilty because child porn was found on their computers, but I pointed out that is relatively easy to put files on almost anybody's computer if they are running Microsoft Windows. Finding such pictures on people's computers is circumstantial evidence at best. Also, looking at pictures doesn't mean those people actually go out and interfere with children. Do we throw people in jail for thinking about crimes now? Have George Orwell's thought police finally arrived?
There is also the problem of what to do with pedophiles. "Take them of the street. Lock them away from the kids," Margaret said. Although mopping up afterwards will always be fairly ineffective, it should still be done. Taking offenders off the street keeps them away from their prey. It is a short term help, but it doesn't solve the problem. It closes the gate after the horse has bolted. Wouldn't it be better to prevent it? Is it fixable? Many people have considered being gay to be an illness, but now we know better -- homosexuality has always been one of the various shades of normal. That makes me ask the very discomforting question, is it possible that pedophilia is part of the normal range of sexuality? It has certainly been around for a long time. I think the Koran says Muhammed's youngest wife was 12, and there is no way 12 can be viewed as anything but a child. I don't care what excuses are made for earlier times; anyone pre-puberty is a child. If it is part of the normal sexual spectrum, what can, or should, be done about it? If it is part of normal then it will likely be impossible to "cure". Inded I've read of pedophiles who have tried to be cured only to find the desires simply remain.
But many of my friends remain extremely upset about their experiences. It has had a very bad effect on their lives. By their descriptions I feel quite strongly that no child should have to live through such traumas. So something needs to be done whether is is a part of "normal" or not. Even if if it can't be cured perhaps we should be finding ways to prevent it happening. How do we do that? One of the temptations will always be to remove contact with adults. Unfortunately adults are not the only problem. I know of people who were sexually assaulted by older siblings. Isolation would never work anyway. It would simply impoverish a child's world and paradoxically make pedophilia easier by removing potential witnesses.
I can't help feeling that the children themselves are the solution somehow. I don't mean using a child's accusations as evidence -- some years back a teacher in North Queensland had his entire life destroyed by such an accusation, only to have the girl admit many years later that she'd simply made it up.
We need to find a way to prevent pedophilia without limiting kids themselves or victimising innocent people. Most of all we need to do this without a witchhunt. Witchhunts are extremely dangerous. They run out of control far too easily. I feel uncomfortable raising these concerns because I'm sure that in some people's eyes it will make me suspect. My stories and artwork clearly show I'm only attracted to sexually mature women, so it is not a great worry to me, but how difficult must it be for others to speak out in such a climate? The fear of such suspicions is part of the great danger any witchhunt poses. In engineering it is called a positive feedback loop and can be very destructive, wrecking things that have nothing to do with the original problem.
Over the years it has surprised me to find out how many of my friends have had their lives damaged by being molested when they were kids. I grew up in blissful ignorance of such things. It always puzzled me that some people can be sexually attracted to children. How can that be? They don't produce any of the sexual cues that puberty brings. Margaret insists that it is about power. She was molested when young and is terrified of, and furious at pedophiles. She may be right. I can't even begin to understand what must be going on in the mind of a pedophile.
But there are a number of things about the current approach to pedophilia that ring very loud alarm bells. It has become a witchhunt. All that is needed to destroy someone's life is to name them as a pedophile -- evidence is not really required. This is a very dangerous situation.
Margaret said the people were obviously guilty because child porn was found on their computers, but I pointed out that is relatively easy to put files on almost anybody's computer if they are running Microsoft Windows. Finding such pictures on people's computers is circumstantial evidence at best. Also, looking at pictures doesn't mean those people actually go out and interfere with children. Do we throw people in jail for thinking about crimes now? Have George Orwell's thought police finally arrived?
There is also the problem of what to do with pedophiles. "Take them of the street. Lock them away from the kids," Margaret said. Although mopping up afterwards will always be fairly ineffective, it should still be done. Taking offenders off the street keeps them away from their prey. It is a short term help, but it doesn't solve the problem. It closes the gate after the horse has bolted. Wouldn't it be better to prevent it? Is it fixable? Many people have considered being gay to be an illness, but now we know better -- homosexuality has always been one of the various shades of normal. That makes me ask the very discomforting question, is it possible that pedophilia is part of the normal range of sexuality? It has certainly been around for a long time. I think the Koran says Muhammed's youngest wife was 12, and there is no way 12 can be viewed as anything but a child. I don't care what excuses are made for earlier times; anyone pre-puberty is a child. If it is part of the normal sexual spectrum, what can, or should, be done about it? If it is part of normal then it will likely be impossible to "cure". Inded I've read of pedophiles who have tried to be cured only to find the desires simply remain.
But many of my friends remain extremely upset about their experiences. It has had a very bad effect on their lives. By their descriptions I feel quite strongly that no child should have to live through such traumas. So something needs to be done whether is is a part of "normal" or not. Even if if it can't be cured perhaps we should be finding ways to prevent it happening. How do we do that? One of the temptations will always be to remove contact with adults. Unfortunately adults are not the only problem. I know of people who were sexually assaulted by older siblings. Isolation would never work anyway. It would simply impoverish a child's world and paradoxically make pedophilia easier by removing potential witnesses.
I can't help feeling that the children themselves are the solution somehow. I don't mean using a child's accusations as evidence -- some years back a teacher in North Queensland had his entire life destroyed by such an accusation, only to have the girl admit many years later that she'd simply made it up.
We need to find a way to prevent pedophilia without limiting kids themselves or victimising innocent people. Most of all we need to do this without a witchhunt. Witchhunts are extremely dangerous. They run out of control far too easily. I feel uncomfortable raising these concerns because I'm sure that in some people's eyes it will make me suspect. My stories and artwork clearly show I'm only attracted to sexually mature women, so it is not a great worry to me, but how difficult must it be for others to speak out in such a climate? The fear of such suspicions is part of the great danger any witchhunt poses. In engineering it is called a positive feedback loop and can be very destructive, wrecking things that have nothing to do with the original problem.
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-07 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-07 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 06:44 am (UTC)That is a very interesting point. I know that some young kids these days are developing sexual characteristics very early, but I think that is largely due to the way we've been saturating our environment with estrogen-mimics and even actual sex hormone. I read in New Scientist that a number of hair shampoos had estrogen in them to make hair softer and that this was causing many girls to develop breasts and begin periods far too early. Many plastics are estrogen-mimics. Lavender scent is an estrogen-mimic as was found when it turned out that young boys exposed to it began to grow breasts. A number of the pesticides are estrogen-mimics and are causing havoc in wild animal populations.
I don't think people in olden times developed sexual characteristics as early as we tend to now. Darn. I read an article in Scientific American ("Earlier Maturation in Man" January 1968) on this very topic when I was a kid (yes I was always a nerd). I can't recall clearly, but I'm pretty sure they found that we have been maturing earlier for as long as records have been reliably recording such stuff. I will look through my issues and find it.
In my personal opinion there can be no excuse for being sexually active with someone who is sexually immature -- there may be reasons, but not excuses. The damage it causes to the child makes it a bad thing that can never be excused. There may be reasons why the person has become bent out of mental shape so that they ignore the damage and do it anyway.
We need to find out the reasons so that we can prevent the inexcusable behaviour. The real trick is how to do that efficiently and effectively.
Your point about relative ages is a good one, but I don't know how to make any good generalisations.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 11:54 pm (UTC)I know that added hormones/hormone mimics are a problem, but in fact I think it is as much our lifestyles as our eating habits in developed countries, especially for girls. Girls don't usually get their period until they reach 90lbs or so (and I think a certain body fat ratio) because they need to be large enough to carry a baby to term. Therefor, the change from kids not getting enough food or getting enough food to kids getting enough food to too much food that has occurred in first world countries is also a factor. Also, we are more sedentary which means a higher body fat ratio which also contributes to this. For example, I had lots of milk as a kid, but I was a active and small for my age until about 12 or 13 when I started to catch up. This means that even though I'm sure that I was exposed to more hormones, I did not have my period until I was nearly 15 because of my weight and body fat ratio.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 11:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-10 01:41 am (UTC)In my own family we all tend to be quite skinny and we tend to have a later onset of puberty than other people.
What you mention also correlates well with the observation that catwalk models, many athletes, and people who are starving stop getting their periods until they put on some fat again.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-10 12:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 11:09 am (UTC)At 1860 the first year of period averaged out to be about 16 and a half years old. By 1960 this had dropped linearly to around 13 years old.
I'd be interested to find out what has happened since then. I find it difficult to believe that modern children begin puberty at 11 years old. Saddening if true.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-10 01:22 am (UTC)Mohammed was a real charmer. Aisha's father begged Mohammed to delay having sex with her for a while because she was so young, so he married Sauda bint Zamah as well, who "he mistreated because she was not pretty".
According to http://www.faithfreedom.org/Articles/sina/ayesha_age.htm
"Muhammad married Safiya after murdering her father, torturing to death her husband and massacring her entire tribe. He married Juwariyah after raiding her people, massacring the men and robbing their wealth and taking the women and children as slaves. He took Rayhana, the 15 year old Jewish girl of Bani Quraiza after massacring all the men and boys who had reached puberty of her tribe and took all the women and children as slaves."
(I need to verify this, but am too depressed at all this stuff to do it right now)