bash.org

[miriam_e]

I archived all my old LiveJournal entries yesterday and while that was happening I browsed them randomly. I found my entry for 2004-09-01 about how much I'd laughed and laughed reading http://bash.org

So I checked it out again. It is a great way to waste time. Many hours later and after many tears of laughter I feel sated.

Here are a few of the nuttier quotes:

---

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

---

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

---

<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section

---

<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
<UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock> o...k
<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy

---

<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.

---

<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor :(
<rycool> ...
<NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door.
<NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.

---

<DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
<DigiGnome> I need my socks.

---

<Malagmyr> This linguistics professor was lecturing the class.
<Malagmyr> "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."
<Malagmyr> "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
<Malagmyr> Immediately, a voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah..... right...."

---

<xxx> I think I'm having some problems with my sexlife...
<phunqe> oh? :/
<xxx> Yeah, yesterday my girlfriend and I wanted to have sex, but I had a... hmm.. well you know.. problem..
<phunqe> Ah, no ping reply?

---

Soth: i need something more complex than 2+2
jadenbane: Soth: 2+2i ?

---

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

Comments

[senseless.livejournal.com]

LMAO at the marshmellows!

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Hehehehe :)
Yeah. It really draws a picture.

[peaseblossom03.livejournal.com]

LOL "Yes, Mrs. Miller..."

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Yes. :) I love that. I hope for his sake he was able to convince Mrs Miller that he was just kidding around. Of course, if he wasn't kidding I hope she banned him... I would. :)

[satyapriya.livejournal.com]

I had something like that a while ago. TeenGirl went to have a bath so I used her internet connection to check some email. Guess msn messenger still registered as her because one of her friends pinged me. Said hi, and then proceeded to chat in inbelievably foul language. This went on for a bit, until I said: "You know this is SatyaPriya, not TeenGirl".
"Get the **** off" was the reply, several times over, when I insisted.
Then I replied "No, look, I'm spelling correctly and using the Queen's English."
TG's friend suddenly went silent, then disappeared off the net.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

heheheh :)
That might have the good side effect of causing TG's friend be a little more considered in the way they talk.

[annie-lyne.livejournal.com]

bash.org == pretty funny. Haven't read it in ages though.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

It is a wonderful way to waste time. :)
I was feeling tired and antsy the other day. I decided not to do anything particularly important, so ended up reading bash.org most of the day. Afterwards I was completely relaxed and uplifted. Such is the therapeutic power of laughter. :)

very familiar

[amberite2112.livejournal.com]

" hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is."

this has happened to my husband in several of his previous jobs as a sysadmin. i expect to have it happen once we fix all the potential boxen awaiting fixing.

Re: very familiar

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

heheheh :)
It hasn't happened to me yet, though my place is an incredible mess. My computers are an island of order in the middle of it all. Mind you I have a project pending to build some tiny computers, and I expect things may change after I have several of them scattered around. :)

[satyapriya.livejournal.com]

I think I like the duck joke one best. I've seen stuff like that. TeenBoy used to come into my bedroom every morning. He doesn't talk with words, so he'd come in and say something in his own language. It always sounded like one of those 'two men walk into a bar' gags. And at the end of the punchline, he'd laugh.
I'd give anything to know what joke was good for 3 years.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Yes. I keep chuckling about the duck one too.

Lovely story about TeenBoy. :) Wow! He is a teen now!! I'll never get used to this growing up thing. That would have given you a nice warm glowy feeling to have him do that. It would have all been about sharing a moment with Mum. It is like the wonderful feeling I get from my sister's kids. When they chat with me I often get the deep satisfaction that it is more about being there than what is actually said. I love those moments.

[sharpblonde.livejournal.com]

Wow. I wonder how close that bonfire was to that neighbour's house... because honestly, sparks from it could have started the house fire which would mean the neighbour had a HUGE reason to hate them...

On another note, I really liked the linguistics one and I sent it to my girlfriend since as a linguistics major she should find it hilarious.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I must admit I thought of that too. I had some neighbors having a drunken party with a bonfire under a tree. The flames were leaping up almost to the branches, scaring the willies outa me. (The tree also spread out over my shed with all my thousands of books.) When I went over to ask them to let the flames die down a bit because of the danger, they only gave me bland assurances that it was okay. I could see very clearly how it was far from okay so I gently pressed the issue, asking how their assurances would help me later if it all went up in flames. The two guys never got it. Luckily their two girlfriends did and managed to convince them to let the fire die down a bit.

Yes. The linguistics one is neat. I showed it to my niece who is currently learning Russian. She had noticed the weirdness of double negatives remaining negative in that language.

[sharpblonde.livejournal.com]

People are dumb. Especially drunks, I find.

I don't know if Jen is far enough along in to her Russian lessons to have noticed the double negatives being negative thing. If you think about it, it actually makes things more clear though. The number of times that I've used a double negative without thinking about it and had someone not know how to reply is rather eye opening.