chapter 16

[miriam_e]

The latest part of my Selena City story about Adele, a lesbian in a near future where sexuality is not an issue.

part 16 Invincible (3079 words)

Not as much written as I intended. I wanted to move right on to the next part, but I'm so tired I can hardly see straight, so it'll have to be in tomorrow's effort.

Once again I'm not sure how this reads. I tried re-reading it, but I can't. All the words look wrong. Gah! I'll be so glad when this infection is completely gone and I have my brains back. :)

Let me know what you think.

Comments

[annie-lyne.livejournal.com]

Excellent... I can imagine lots of twists from this, but your story is optimistic, so I don't know whether to entertain them...

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks.
I hope the remaining story works okay. I think you'll have seen some of the twists coming, but maybe not others. I kinda think of the twists as ways to just keep the reader interested. The main part of the story is the message:
We matter, regardless of who we are. And those who try to make us less just don't get it. They lessen themselves in the process.

I try not to be too boring and pedantic while I'm telling it. :) (Scares me that maybe I don't succeed.)

[annie-lyne.livejournal.com]

I mean, one could suspect that sending Morty to the Sun has really been the plan all along, and that Marcus has duped everyone. But that doesn't really fit with the message I think you're trying to make (or what I'd like to think you're trying to make): sometimes it's possible for someone to be redeemed, that despite one's faults or appearances, one can be accepted.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Ooooh! I thought I'd considered all the possible twists, but I hadn't seen that one. Neat.

Nope, I don't think Marcus is smart enought to dupe everyone. The bureau of assassinations (or whatever they might be called) has become aware over the years that making assassins too smart tends to backfire. It is easy to destroy things, but difficult to create; it takes time, energy and intelligence to create things and find peaceful solutions to problems. I meant to put something in about that earlier, but didn't manage to. It'll have to be in the rewrite.

Hmmm... Adele has been having a big soul-searching session in what I've written of chapter 17 so far. I could include that there. Cool, thanks. :)