chapter 16

[miriam_e]

The latest part of my Selena City story about Adele, a lesbian in a near future where sexuality is not an issue.

part 16 Invincible (3079 words)

Not as much written as I intended. I wanted to move right on to the next part, but I'm so tired I can hardly see straight, so it'll have to be in tomorrow's effort.

Once again I'm not sure how this reads. I tried re-reading it, but I can't. All the words look wrong. Gah! I'll be so glad when this infection is completely gone and I have my brains back. :)

Let me know what you think.

Comments

[soul-searcher-4.livejournal.com]

oooo i loved the whole paragraph "What kind of warped mind creates a person like him? Oh yeah. The same kind of mind that drops nuclear weapons on two cities full of men, women, and children. The same kind of mind that develops mustard gas. The same kind of mind that makes... etc etc" really great :D

its getting exciting!! cant wait to see what happens!! :D

xox

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks. I had a go at re-reading it last night and I went to bed with the depressing feeling that the chapter was total crap. I awoke feeling absolutely certain it was.

I just got off the phone from my wonderful Mum and she thinks it is an exciting chapter. And after reading your comment above I feel a bit better too.

Just drinking my first cuppa tea of the morning. I'm a bit reluctant re-read, but I'll have to, I guess. :/

Today (30th Nov) is the last official day of NaNoWriMo, but there is no chance of getting my target wordcount by midnight... zip, zero, nada, zilch, buckley's, no way. So I'm just going to finish it at my normal rate, which seems to have become thinking on it for a day, letting it grow, then writing it the next day. Don't be surprised if I don't get the next chapter done by tonight. I'll try, but...

Looking at my notes, there are either two or three chapters left, depending on how I handle things. Eeeek! Decisions, decisions.

[soul-searcher-4.livejournal.com]

aww, no it was a great chapter =D hehe, its cool your rents are reading this too :P i hardly ever let my rents read stuff ive written... im not sure why though...

mm teaaa... well good luck with the re-reading and new writing =) i cant believe its the end of november! its snuck up so fast!!! wheres it all gone?! :S

only two or three? aww, its gonna be all over before i know it :( eek! hehe- well waht ever you decide- i cant wait to read it =)

best of luck! cant wait! (really cant :P) look forward to the next part... i know i always say that huh... lol... =) haoppy writing!

xox

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:) Oh there's still the rewrites to come. :/
That could see entire other chapters added, significant material added inside chapters, and perhaps stuff chopped.

Thanks for the encouragement. :)

[gothxxangel.livejournal.com]

I liked this chapter too! The way everybody works together is so cool. I'm liking Marcus more and more with every chapter. Nicely done characterization. Seconding your paragraph of awesomeness, and the waY Adele turns it around in the end.

Oh, and the "passing the note" technique--priceless! I want to try it! *lol*

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks.
I wasn't sure I liked Adele undercutting the impact of the paragraph about what evil our minds do, but honesty compelled me to let it stay. We are horrible monsters, but we are also delightful angels.

I have absolutely no idea where the "passing the note" technique came from. It wasn't in my initial notes, but it was there right from when I sat down to start writing the chapter. I don't remember thinking of it. Bit of a mystery really, but I gotta agree it is a neat idea. :) If you can't talk and you can't use radio, how do you pass a message? Sometimes I think my characters are way smarter than I am.

[annie-lyne.livejournal.com]

Excellent... I can imagine lots of twists from this, but your story is optimistic, so I don't know whether to entertain them...

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks.
I hope the remaining story works okay. I think you'll have seen some of the twists coming, but maybe not others. I kinda think of the twists as ways to just keep the reader interested. The main part of the story is the message:
We matter, regardless of who we are. And those who try to make us less just don't get it. They lessen themselves in the process.

I try not to be too boring and pedantic while I'm telling it. :) (Scares me that maybe I don't succeed.)

[annie-lyne.livejournal.com]

I mean, one could suspect that sending Morty to the Sun has really been the plan all along, and that Marcus has duped everyone. But that doesn't really fit with the message I think you're trying to make (or what I'd like to think you're trying to make): sometimes it's possible for someone to be redeemed, that despite one's faults or appearances, one can be accepted.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Ooooh! I thought I'd considered all the possible twists, but I hadn't seen that one. Neat.

Nope, I don't think Marcus is smart enought to dupe everyone. The bureau of assassinations (or whatever they might be called) has become aware over the years that making assassins too smart tends to backfire. It is easy to destroy things, but difficult to create; it takes time, energy and intelligence to create things and find peaceful solutions to problems. I meant to put something in about that earlier, but didn't manage to. It'll have to be in the rewrite.

Hmmm... Adele has been having a big soul-searching session in what I've written of chapter 17 so far. I could include that there. Cool, thanks. :)

[clubhopper15.livejournal.com]

When I am in the mood for literary criticism I will delve deeper into this but..I love you(r writing)!

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:) Cool. Thanks.
heheheh

[blacks-empire.livejournal.com]

You've done such an amazing job in bringing these characters to life. I'm surrounded by the sounds and colours of this world and the people. I told you before that I was, from the beginning, drawn into your story and it's made for a wonderful read.

So how has it been now that NaNo is officially over? Are you relieved or saddened? Maybe a little bit of both? I'm actually looking forward to the one next year. Should be a very interesting time.

Congrats on a great job, you've truly been blessed with a talent.

~K

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

heheheh :) Thank you. [blush]

It is weird. It is almost like a non-event now it is over. It might have been different if I'd completed the story in the time, but I'm still working on the final couple of chapters.

There is no deadline pressure anymore, but I'm still having the same problems with doing the writing. My difficulties are mostly bridging where I'll have something occur then want to introduce the next part. I was watching an old episode of one of my all-time favorite shows, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, while having dinner the other night, then watched the commentary by Jane Espenson (one of my favorite writers) and she was saying that one of the most useful characters in the show was Anya, because she would blurt stuff out at socially awkward points, allowing the story to move on. So it looks like I'm not the only one who has problems bridging between story sections. :)

I'll try to do NaNo next year, but I might be working with my sister, starting up a company that helps people with energy efficient design.

I'll look forward to reading yours if you make it available online.

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful as is the usual with you.
I'm looking forward to the next.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:) Thank you.
Sorry about my slow reply. I've been sleeping a lot and catching up on doing other things I'd let slide during NaNo, but I am still working on finishing the story. More soon I promise.

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

I've been sleeping a lot too. It's the wintery thing to do. :)
Don't worry bout the time it takes to reply. I figure the internet isn't anyone's top priority.
Well maybe it's someone's but I sure don't expect that it is.
:)