NaNoWriMo 2008 - chapter 1

[miriam_e]

I have begun my story for NaNoWriMo 2008. It is called Critically Damaged and you can find it at
http://miriam-english.org/stories/critically-damaged/index.html

It is not a science fiction story in the normal sense. It does contain some elements you'd normally think of as science fiction, but it is set in the current day, the technology is not central to the story, and I believe the things mentioned could be built now anyway. Certainly I know a number of groups are working on it.

My description may be too vague, but I'm loathe to give too much away:

It can take years to create an intricate masterwork.
When it is done, what is its value? And who can say?

So far only the short prologue is up there.
1 - prologue

I hope to post another chapter every 3 or 4 days.

I'd appreciate any comments.

Comments

[cranky--crocus.livejournal.com]

NaNo started for me 37 minutes ago and I haven't started writing yet!

But I will. Cackles. As soon as I'm off livejournal! Will try to keep up with your story. I might not be able to with NaNo + University, but I will try!

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Your studies are the most important thing, and writing your own NaNo is far more important than reading mine. Mine will still be here months and years from now. :)

Good luck. I know you will have lots of fun doing a cool story.

[cranky--crocus.livejournal.com]

Smiles. I do hope to get to reading yours soon!

It's weird writing a sci fi story when I normally don't even read them. I'm also not researching technology, so most of it is so off that it's laugh-worthy. But I'm having fun! NaNo definitely isn't about being Good, to me; it's about being Done!

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. If you want me to read through it after NaNo I can bend the science into shape.

Regarding the sentiment: NaNo definitely isn't about being Good, to me; it's about being Done! I couldn't agree more. Unfortunately I have this obsessive little critter in my head who moans about every second word. I'd just love to tape its mouth shut or banish it till after NaNo.

One day I'll learn to just let go and write. [sigh] I don't think this time will be it. As a result my pace is truly snail-like.

[cranky--crocus.livejournal.com]

I don't think anyone could bend this science into shape, haha. But I think that's fine with me since I never intend to do anything with it!

I have an obsessive little critter in my head over every second as well. It takes a lot for me to get her to leave me alone. I have to work hard to get into a meditative state and get her away from me. I think it's something you could learn, if you put your mind into that rather than following her commands.

I bet you can do it! Sometimes the first step isn't letting go - sometimes it's forcing out, and ignoring the voice even when you can hear it! It'll try to get louder when you first start ignoring it, since it wants to stick around, but if you always label it for what it is - a nuisance that isn't helping you, a separate voice - it should eventually get under control, if not go away completely.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

I'll try. :)
Sounds like a good first step, labelling it as a nuisance that stops me having fun with the story.

The pep talk from Chris Baty (NaNoWriMo overlord) was great fun. He was all about having the fun by letting go too. Makes good sense.

[cranky--crocus.livejournal.com]

Mmm. When I'm trying to meditate and clear my mind, sometimes I'll start with a challenge, "I wonder what I'll think next?" and then a thought takes longer in coming, and then each thought that comes I imagine labelling with a white flag-note "THOUGHT." Eventually they stop coming.

Haha, I stopped reading the pep talks from Chris Baty when I'm limited for time. Sometimes I go back to them later. Letting go is fun!

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

Yay! Thank you. :)

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I hope you enjoy. It will be quite different to what I normally write.

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

:) Well I hope I enjoy too but I feel pretty confident I will. :)

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Gee I love that icon. What is it about cats that affects us so deeply, I wonder?

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

Well I know my kitty is soft and cuddly and playful and sometimes mean and very often kind and seems to have no self consciousness about any of it. She's just herself and she loves me and I love her and it is good. Also cats seem very intelligent much of the time (at least to me) but they don't seem to carry the burden of thinking too much the way humans do. It's nice.
Oh and they're also beautiful and graceful. Really, what's not to like? :)

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

All that applies to crows too. People don't have the same reaction to seeing them though. It has always puzzled me that something so very non-human can be the object of human love the way cats are.

In the past I'd theorised that perhaps people who didn't irrationally love cats tended to die out in antiquity because of rodent-borne diseases. Though of course that's one of those things that is pure speculation and could never be proved, and likewise unlikely to be disproved.

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

Cuddly applies to crows?
Have you been able to cuddle a crow? If so I'm jealous.
Crows rock.
I'm thinking though the very fact that kitties like to be affectionate toward us is reason enough for us to like em. We like cuddles and people liking us.
Also there's something about their big eyes and soft fur. :)
Oh and there is how they are incredibly good at relaxing. Always inspires me to be blissfully lazy. Always has me wondering why I'm not.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Okay... maybe not cuddly... :)

I'm sure the big eyes help, though deep sea fish have big eyes and look like nightmares and owls' big eyes just look startled. The fur is probably part of the attraction, but still doesn't explain anything. Humans are not covered by fur. How could we find it attractive?

Plenty of animals like to be affectionate towards us (pet rats, parrots, pigs) and like cuddles.

It still puzzles me that we have this intense attraction to something so alien as a cat. Those sharp teeth and claws and the ease with which they can draw blood, the lack of any faithfulness in most cats, the inscrutable nature of their minds, and the great gulf that separates their language from ours. All this makes cats unlikely candidates for the adoration we all feel for them.

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

You know kitties have never felt alien or foreign to me. But I was raised with em, so maybe there's something to that.
Honestly all these things you mention seem like attractive qualities to me, for example: " the inscrutable nature of their minds". A mind we will give up trying to figure out, that, really can be a blessing. We know we'll never know what's in their mind so unlike with humans we won't waste too much time worrying about it. One less thing to worry about that still cuddles us.
The way they draw blood easily? Perhaps we wish we could, cause we know we could but we know we pretty much won't but often want to, perhaps it's just a bit of living through them that we do as they do what we feel we cannot.
The big eyes thing, well I do think that helps, especially as they don't look like nightmares but do look a way that humans do call beautiful. I've read that it's been theorized that big eyes in relation to the size of face is one of the reasons we are less likely to hurt children. It's the "cuteness" factor.
Obviously can't be the only reason, but I bet it helps and it might be at play with cats too.

Beyond all that though, my cat is one of my very best friends. It's really that simple. She is good to be around and fun and funny and she clearly likes me and is kind to me, especially so if I'm feeling really down (which thankfully isn't all that much these days). She's willing to be my friend and I hers. :)

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Cuteness is undoubtedly part of it, but why would inscrutable, fluffy little alien killing machines that hate water appear cute to hairless, aquatic, social apes? On the surface of it, it doesn't seem to make sense.

I know you can describe all the factors that you feel when you are near your cat. I feel the same way when I visit my ex- who has a gorgeous cat who has helped her numerous times when she's been suicidally depressed. But the description, although interesting in itself -- and I find myself nodding and smiling in agreement when reading your list above -- is not actually an explanation of the affection we feel for these amazing creatures. In fact I wonder if an explanation is even possible. I gotta admit the puzzle is almost as attractive to me as the cute felines themselves. :)

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

Hmm, some felines do like water. Tigers and jaguars and fishing cats and such. Even some house cats.
Personally I just think they have superior grace and I think humans recognize that.
Hell, if we're gonna start asking such questions, why are trees so beautiful, or the sky or the land or.. anything really?
But anyway, beauty is and yes its a mystery and that's fine. :)

The icon, by the way, is a clouded leopard. That's a wild type kitty.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Yes. I must admit I'm swayed by the idea that proportions and grace have some part to play, but those don't explain me going all gooey at the sight of a cat's face.

What is weirder is that I think cats are gorgeous, but one of the few repeated nightmares I have is being pursued through the bush by big cats. I invariably wake dripping with sweat from those dreams because we are utterly defenceless against big cats. They run, climb, even swim, faster than us -- and they are born murderers. Yet I am deeply attracted to them and see them as intensely beautiful. Weird, huh?

Why are trees so beautiful, or the sky, or the land? :) Those are easier to explain. We are wonderful learning machines. As such an incentive to find wonder and enjoyment in the world around us is a perfectly natural survival trait. But yes. I'm sure it's part of the same question.

Probably the big cat I find most beautiful is the cheetah. Those elegant legs and slender body, the teardrop face markings... [sigh]

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm thinking you have a particular kind of orientation to the kitties.
To me they've always felt like kin. Yes they're beautiful and admirable and such, but I don't actually go gooey over em. At least not in the way it sounds that you do. Also I'd never call em "born murderers". That sounds just too human a concept for one and when I think of them, I just don't think that. Even though my kitty would be an incredible huntress if/when she got the chance.
Nor do I have such nightmares.
Which is only to say that we are different.
Which I only point out really because, well I don't think if we could explain humans attraction to em that by explaining that we could explain your orientation to em.
It seems rather particular.
Also some people really don't like cats. Those people seem to be the ones that like dogs more, or so I've noticed.
But in any case I can't explain it even if there does seem to be plenty of reasons.

Were you the woo type person I'd suggest having a dialogue with cheetah. See what she/he wants to tell you. But that's a rather woo idea, I know, so I suspect it won't attract you.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

You're right. I do have a soft spot for cats. It is similar to the soft affection I have for all life, particularly animal life. I even find it heart-rending to kill insects. This feels to me to be a very sensible way to be. However a few animals hold special attraction for me, beyond what seems reasonable or logical. Cats are such animals. It is a mystery to me that I could respond so positively to it when I see a well-fed cat hunt, catch, and torment a smaller animal to death. I know they are not responsible for it, but surely that cruelty would cancel out the pleasure I get drinking them in with my eyes, or stroking and playing with a cat. But it doesn't. I adore dogs too, but in a different way. I don't think I've ever met a dog that approaches being as beautiful in appearance or movement that the most ordinary cat is. Dogs give me pleasure through their wonderful minds -- the way they are so amazingly well-fitted to us (or are we fitted to them?).

Heheheh :) I suspect I'm really a "woo" type person, but my science background has largely supplanted it.

I appreciate this conversation. It helps me think this through much more... though I expect never to actually solve it.

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

:)
Yah, well beauty and ferocity aren't mutually exclusive. As you've noticed.
I do think dogs are wonderful in their way, as you do. But yes, I'm much more attracted to the felines as well.
Now my boo, I think he feels the opposite. He favors the canines, even while certain felines have and do hold place in his heart. Though really he likes animals in general far more than he likes humans. He's kind enough not to mention it to most humans though. :)

Hmm, with the woo, I've got so many perspectives on it.
One can always just use the woo type stuff from a psychological Jungian type angle.
Like, one could dialogue with cheetah (or whomever) as an aspect of our own psyches, and see then what we're trying to tell ourselves.

:) I like talking with you too. Thank you.

Critically Damaged

[revbobbob.livejournal.com]

WANT MOAR!

Re: Critically Damaged

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

heheheh :)
Thanks Bob.
Moar coming. :)
I'm part way through the next chapter. Should have it up there before Thursday.

[cranky--crocus.livejournal.com]

Got to read it and love it! Can't wait for more more more!!!

Also, every time I read your description on your profile, I think you're amazing. And I think you are. I thought you should know that! You're so very, very wonderful.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:) [blush] I'm so not. I'm a stupid dummy.

More story coming... be posted before the end of the week. :)

[cranky--crocus.livejournal.com]

How about we strike a deal - you concede to not being a dummy, and actually being quite fantastic, and I'll do the same?

Because otherwise we'll both sit here thinking the opposite and losing out on a great time of thinking nice things about ourselves and others! Smiles sweetly, hugs.

Excited for more story!

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

heheh :)

[qu-is.livejournal.com]

nice. would love to have one of those gadgets btw.
I like the references to europeans wanting to change aus rather then loving it - they tried to make it familiar. Ironic that their decedents are so obstinate about wanting new immigrants to integrate into the 'aus culture'.
Looking forward to reading more.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)
I'd love one of those gadgets too. Even better gadgets to come later in the story. :)

Hoping to post the current chapter in a couple of days. I'm running waaaay behind. But I will definitely finish this story. The more I write, the more I enjoy it.

Yes. We Australians often seem to live in a surrogate Europe, abstractly liking Australia only from afar. It drives me to utter distraction. And, yes, don't get me started on the dopes who say immigrants should adopt "Australian" culture. What such fools don't seem to have noticed is that there is no Australian culture. We mostly hate the true Australia, and when imbeciles like our former prime minister talk of Australia he is pointing to the European landmarks like the Sydney Opera House designed and built by Europeans here, or the vast tracts of eroded land cleared by white settlers. (The earlier humans aren't blameless either. In their 60,000 years of farming the landscape with fire they weakened the topsoil and altered the ecology to an explosively flammable one, after exterminating all the large animals.)

I have to say that there are increasing numbers of people who do like the Australian landscape now and do want to save it. I grew up in the bush and I can't imagine living anywhere else. It is just wonderful here (other than the flammability problem). Wild horses couldn't drag me back to the city again.

Aus culture

[revbobbob.livejournal.com]

As an Ameican, I don't have a dog in that fight. We have no culture. At all.

Re: Aus culture

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Actually, I don't entirely agree with you. I don't think there's much US culture, but I do think it exists. There are a number of pleasant aspects, like "valley girl speak" (it was much maligned at the time, but I always loved) which became so much a part of US culture and even spread out internationally. You can see some precursors of it in the wonderful writings of O'Henry and the way he played with words. More recently Joss Whedon has helped to carry that torch too.

Idolising cars, particularly big cars, is a peculiarity of US culture (which unfortunately has spread to Australia). It spawned the road movie, and drive-in services, among other things. Of course this love of impractical vehicles is showing itself as less benign than one would have thought some decades ago.

And there is the less pleasant side: the warrior culture, which seems to suffuse so much of life over there. Guns, instead of being seen as horrid devices used to kill and maim, are often presented as sexual objects (look at any James Bond movie). Even worse, the strong military culture in US means that being a mass murderer should be a point of shame, yet the most exploitative, antisocial, large-scale acts of destruction somehow get excused again and again using nothing more than the Nuremberg defense: "I was just following orders". That is a very dangerous part of US culture. With great power comes great responsibility, but the US seems to have embraced the power without caring much about the responsibility... like Rome, before it.

Re: Aus culture

[(Anonymous)]

I found one more bit of American culture, or at least I think it is: kitteh - the language lolcats speak. But any more it's worldwide. Kind of like the Four Tops, but much sillier.

/me expects a chapter of the novel to be written in kitteh.

BAI!

Re: Aus culture

[revbobbob.livejournal.com]

Hai, That was me. Sorry. Switched web browsers.

Re: Aus culture

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

heheh I guessed.

By the way, I thought of some more US culture: Blues music. That was a new development that had incredible ramifications around the world as it gave rise to Rock'n'Roll and many other forms.

Re: Aus culture

[revbobbob.livejournal.com]

What if one day we decided that instead of choosing to fight a war in one place instead of fighting it in another place, we choose not to fight a war in *any* place? What if we decided that none of us are free until all of us are free? What if we decided that getting along with other nations doesn't just mean setting it up that corporations will do better, it means setting it up so that people will do better?

Re: Aus culture

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

You represent one of the reasons why even with all that is so scary in the US I still have a lot of time and affection for the people over there. The US may have some of the nuttiest, most power-crazed kooks on the planet, but it also has some of the most well-informed and sane ones too. You, dear Bob, are one of the ones I'm proud to consider a friend.

Re: Aus culture

[revbobbob.livejournal.com]

I don't think of you just as a friend, but as one of the best people I know. Why are you reading this and not writing MOAR "CRITICALLY DAMIDGED"?

Soft smiles from my Teddy bear to yours.