chapter 15

[miriam_e]

The latest part of my Selena City story about Adele, a lesbian in a near future where sexuality is not an issue.

Okay. It finally happens. :D

If offended by lesbian sex do not read this chapter.

part 15 Lessons (3869 words)

Finally got this one done. Been working on it all day. It was unbelieveably difficult to write, not because of challenging subject matter, but because it is plain embarrassing, knowing it was going to be displayed in public and read by people who I know. (Hi Mum. Hi Dad. :)

Took forever to write the beginning of the sex sequence and I was despairing of ever getting it done, when the characters lost their patience with me, took over and wrote it themselves, much to my relief.

Ummm... I should mention that I have posted without being able to make sense of what I'm reading anymore. I'm tired and can no longer see it, so I'm warning you that it might be utter crap. Please let me know of any glaring faults.

Hope everybody enjoys it. Let me know what you think.

Comments

[soul-searcher-4.livejournal.com]

aww, that was great- very tastefully done, and the way you described everything so poetically (if thats the word im looking for ? :P)

i love the sound of the school =3 very cute- and the whole thing adele was feeling, was a great character development, kinda thing :)

looking forward to reading more :)
xox

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:) heheheh Thanks.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

The school was influenced by some books I'd read by the animal conservationist and zoo owner, Gerald Durrell, of his childhood, where instead of going to a normal school he had a tutor. It always seemed to me a remarkably sensible way to educate kids and bring out their abilities. Also, it bugs me that since we have had formal schools we have consistently under-valued the way teachers work hard to mould the next society and have been buried under impractically large class sizes and rigid curricula.

We need to reduce the work load on them, make the profession a joy to be a part of, and shrink class sizes so they can truly help all the kids. Not only the teacher, but the pupils will benefit, and as a result, our society.

[soul-searcher-4.livejournal.com]

i completely agree! class sizes are rediculous- and everyone would benifit if they were smaller... teachers would enjoy there jobs more to start... there are less and less teachers these days- because its just not a profession that is enjoyed anymore- they are so unappreciated...

well, it was lovely anyway :) i love that you get your ideas from real, researchable places :)

xox

[annie-lyne.livejournal.com]

what a way to start the morning!

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:D heheheh
Yes, I re-read it this morning and was relieved that instead of finding a mess of worthless writing it actually got me a little hot. :)

But I also noticed the sex scene went far too quickly. It needed to be slower, more languid, more sensual and emotional.

[annie-lyne.livejournal.com]

I didn't get to read it in *too* much detail because I had to go to work. But it could work okay a bit faster now, and have a more involved... err session... later ;)

[gothxxangel.livejournal.com]

Very good chapter! You're too hard on yourself. I really liked the school and the approch to learning. Definitely not having monetary gain influencing education has so many benefits (yeah, I know, duh!). The way you wrote about the children is so cute, especially when the doll says "Termites!". I laughed, I have to admit.

I'm also liking Marcus more and more as we find out more about him. He's very childlike in a lot of ways, and it's interesting to see him learning as well. And not getting Adele's sarcasm! *lol*

The sex scene was good too--not too much clinical detail, lots of sensuality.

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

:D
Thanks oodles!

Yeah, I feel very strongly about education. It amazes me that politicians, and people generally, don't seem to get how vitally important to the future of the human race and all life on Earth are children and their teachers. I mean, we can build power stations, make lots of mobile phones, put a MacDonalds on every corner, arm more troops, but they do little or nothing to actually fix the world. Improve kids' minds and we have a real shot at eliminating much of the world's problems and having a good future.

Yeah, I loved the little doll too. heheheh :) I originally wanted it saying and doing more, but it became too intrusive. There were also going to be more AI toys, but they didn't get written in the rush. Maybe the rewite. :)

I'm glad Marcus is coming across that way. I'll have to work more on him in the rewrite too. There are a number of things I could have done better.

I really must rewrite the sex scene. In my head it was slower, longer, more feeling. I think instead, it turned out a bit too much about the sex and not enough about the love. :/

I'm really grateful for your comments. :)

Really, really wanna read yours when you're ready. :D

[blacks-empire.livejournal.com]

I have to echo the statements of everyone above me. The school was absolutely brilliant! I wish that the attitudes toward school or education in general was more like that. Here in Brazil the class sizes, even in the private schools, are horrendous. There are sometimes 60 to 80 kids in a class with one teacher. It's hard enough for me, being an ESL teacher to have 14 in my class and make sure all of them are learning at the same pace as the other kids in their classes.

The sex scene was beautiful. Very tasteful and sensual. It was very real and very sweet.

I don't know about Marcus. I don't think I like him even if he's nice right now. Something seems to be off, like he's trying to hard or overcompensating for what is really inside him... *arch brow* Maybe I'm just distrustful and don't think an assassin can change like that. *grin* It's a possibility.

Great job lady... Bravo again.

~K

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

I'd like to expand on the school in the rewrite. It would be great if it could show people how natural such a setting is and how unnatural are the huge class sizes currently considered "normal". It would also be neat if I could show inventive ways to teach maths and other areas of knowledge.

It would be nice to make the sex scene more lingering and beautiful. It doesn't live up to what I wanted, but I'm glad most comments, like yours, indicate it is better than I thought. :)

Marcus may change in the rewrite. I want him to appear innocent, yet hints that he may yet be untrustworthy. Ideally I'd like it to seem to reside entirely in Adele's own perception rather than objective reality. Difficult to do. We'll see if it happens. :)

Somehow I don't think the rewrites will be this month (December) after all. [sigh]

[revbobbob.livejournal.com]

It comes from your hopes and dreams. It comes from your heart. How could I not love it?

[miriam-e.livejournal.com]

Thanks Bob. :)

I'm really grateful that you wanted to read it, and delighted that you liked it.

I need to sit down and finish it. I've been rushing around since the end of November, and now I'm heading off to New Zealand in a couple of weeks. Maybe I'll get time to complete the final two chapters (and maybe even do some rewriting) while I'm over there.